An Easter Story
{4/4/2021}
We went to church with family today in Trevor’s hometown. It is a non-denom/community church very similar to the one I was raised in, where the church family recognizes when you’re a visitor and ensures you feel welcome upon arrival and a pastor that personally thanks you for coming on your way out the door.
The pastor told a few stories related to death and healing – all very appropriate for Easter – but today these stories felt so heavy…
He told the story of how Jesus healed the man of leprosy and it felt like a gut punch. See, when I was 5, our parents sat us down to tell me and my sisters that my mom had cancer. Before I let them speak, I insisted on asking a question based on a Bible story I had been listening to that week. You want to know what I asked? “Is it true that Jesus touched the man and he was healed?” As a now parent, I can’t fathom the thoughts going through my mom’s head when those words left my mouth! “Maybe it’s a sign that God will heal me?”
A few more stories were told about Jesus healing the sick and giving life and I found myself feeling defeated. My mom did it “all right” – our parents took us to church every week, we did devotionals as a family every day, my mom homeschooled us until she physically couldn’t anymore and our church literally anointed her with oil and prayed over her for healing and we still lost her. A flash back of an old picture of our family with “the missions family that will never happen” flooded my thoughts. Another gut punch.
Now, don’t get me wrong – I’ve spent years of my life defending how “bad things don’t happen to good people” was absolutely NOT the truth. I’ve shaped my faith around loss and grief and trusting that everything works together according to His purpose and HIS will and not my own.
I know that the pastor wasn’t saying “Believe in Jesus and nothing bad will ever happen to you” – He was sharing hope – he was sharing the miracles…it should have felt light so why did it feel so heavy?!
When things like this happen, I have to sometimes write to sort it all out. So here I am.
You know what I’ve figured out? He also spoke a lot about fighting off our “devils” today too and it clicked – The devil was literally waging a war in my mind in the middle of Easter service and making me fight against my joy on a joyous day by making me doubt God’s goodness. A day where we get to shed light on darkness. A day full of hope for the future. A day where God literally showed that bad things ABSOLUTELY happen to the best of people but it’s all for the greater good.
So, as much as this is out of my comfort zone to get this personal with people outside of my immediate friend group, I just wanted to share this story in hopes that it speaks to just one of you tonight.
As for me, I am so thankful I live in God’s grace, even when I don’t always deserve it and I’m so thankful that He died on the cross for sinners like me.
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